Rewinding Love


I’m turning 30 in one month AND I feel like 12 years old.

I don’t want any responsibilities, I want to play games, I want to dance, I want to meet new friends, I want to live in a huge apartment with many roommates. I want to wake up and eat my coco puffs, wear a short dress with my brand new Converse and pack my lunch box. I want to skateboard to school and sit at the 3rd row in class just next to this crazy cool black girl with braces and the best hairstyle ever! I want to watch BET pretending I’m like those awesome hip-hop dancers looking at myself shaking my ass in front of the mirror. I want to shout and scream while riding my bike in the neighborhood. I want to have to ask permission to my parents to go sleepover at Laura’s place next Saturday.

I want to be able to look at a guy and fall madly in love in 2 seconds during my tennis class. Dreaming of him everyday after that powerful awakening moment. I want to be able to feel the innocence, the newness of this exquisite emotion. I want to draw the lines of his face in my mind every night before falling asleep — over and over again. I want to listen to Mariah Carey “My All” picturing us dancing, hugging and kissing like in the movies.

Never having been kissed, never having fallen truly for anyone yetA true virgin love experiment. I have this dream tonight, this vivid dream of living this intense, magical, extraordinary moment for the first time again!

I want to stop being so complicated, so picky, so silly and so damn superficial! I want to accept Love can be won again and finding it isn’t like shopping.

I wish our Society was different and we wouldn’t have all these opportunities and ideals. Letting go of any judgments, any reasoning and just feeling and acting freely again. 100% innocence, simplicity & purity for a rush of adrenaline to feel my heart beating again …

Challenge accepted!

Rewinding Love

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