This brilliant photograph was taken by Eric Pickersgill
It inspired me for its poignancy. How much time are we sacrificing online while we could be interacting with real human beings next to us?
While studying the sociological behaviors of singles and individuals in relationships (or married), I have noticed something interesting. When one feels rejected or misunderstood after a heavy conversation or even a fight for instance, the Smartphone becomes the indestructible shield to vulnerability and therefore dialogue.
As a matter of fact, the attitude of hiding behind your Smartphone to avoid any confrontation appears way more after the early stages of dating. It’s easier to entertain ourselves with games, Facebook feeds, Instragram’s vivid images than to confront the present moment and deal with something that may annoys us. When we feel disrespected or rejected, we need reassurance right? Jackpot! Your Smartphone is the Eldorado of instant-ego-boost.
I usually develop this particular point with my clients during my life/love coaching sessions. How we could build more awareness of our digital usage. How our psychology has evolved through the spectrum of the digital. It is very important in my opinion to introspect and try to understand the differences: The “before” and “after” Smartphones. How you would find someone in a city you didn’t know, how you would cope with loneliness while waiting for the bus. All these little things yet, so important can make us more aware and help us create a healthy real vs. digital lifestyle.
Wishing love to all.
It strikes me how many more men used Tinder in 2015 compared to women (twice more).
But the most interesting element throughout my study has been the proportion of “in a relationship” users. I interviewed a few of them: why are you on this dating app? What will you do if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend on Tinder (how awesome would that be honestly?), what if you “pseudo-fall in love” on the app?
I develop this point in a chapter of my book and I truly was thrilled to investigate on this particular subject.
A more detailed post on the psychology of this “quasi-cheating” behavior coming soon.